Christmas at Kucharski’s | Święta u Kucharskich
How my family celebrates it, gluing together what I shared in many comments into one | Jak świętujemy w mojej rodzinie, sklejając moje opowieści z komentarzy w jedną
As Christmas is just around the corner, it’s time for the traditional pattern of events that come with it to occur. Just like in October when I was talking about visiting the graves, I’ll guide you through the most usual course of events in my family and country, because rarily we opted for doing it differently than in the following way. As usual, the groundwork for this and previous post were these my comments at
.The Christmas preparations and customary events in my family begin on the 24th of December early in the morning. It’s because everyone is available to help with cleaning, cooking etc. on that day and it takes quite some time to get the house clean & ready for the holiday. In Polish tradition the season for Christmas tree is from the 24th of December to the 2nd of February and we try to follow it (though the tree is usually out mid-January), setting our tree on Christmas Eve. Both the type and time of putting the tree up are similar in most families here, which I think is good to not get bored by it.
But before we begin anything, the day starts with a habit passed on the mum’s side of the family, called “a bathe in money”. It means we do our morning routine in the bathroom while holding some coins lend for that cause by one person. This superstition is intended to ensure that one will not lack money in the coming year. The trick is only small coins are usually prepared, so everyone has to mind not dropping them into the sink.
When it comes to Christmas superstitions, there is a proverb here which says “jaka Wigilia, taki cały rok” (As is Christmas Eve, so will be the whole year”). That’s why I ensure to reserve some time in the evening to play all of the computer games I like. Another superstition calls to keep an eye on the weather for the dozen days before Christmas, because that’s a forecast for how the weather will be during the next twelve months. It serves as a motivation for my mum to carefully write down in her calendar how the weather has been in that time. Next one is a saying that animals on Christmas midnight speak in human voice. Sadly, our cat never honoured us with her thoughts.
Before we can start with anything Christmas-related, we have to clean the entire house, so we begin by vacuuming, mopping the floors and reorganising the furniture to make place for the Christmas tree, which as I said earlier we put up in the morning (or noon) of Christmas Eve. The distribution of tasks is usually like this - my mum takes one of my brothers (mainly it’s Antek, as he likes cooking the most) to help her with preparing the traditional dishes, while I and my other brother (in that default scenario Ignac) help dad bringing home the Christmas tree. Ever since I remember we have natural tree (contrary to what we did in school) that is either bought by dad approx. a week in advance or if it's big enough we simply cut one from our garden (which was the case last year and is this). Then we start decorating. First, there are lights, followed by Christmas balls, ornaments, figurines and chains. Some of them are made of wood, other are porcelain, so it’s common that each year at least one thing of the latter ends up shattered on the floor. In the past we also had a wooden nativity scene with a roof covered with moss, but unfortunately it sank in the flooding of our basement nearly ten years ago. Yet it may be for good, because our cat would definitely use it to trim her nails.
Coming up next is the best part of decorating the tree - placing the sweets, which is done by everybody. Usually we have candies, but sometimes there are homemade gingerbread cookies. We tie them to the tree by a sewing thread. It became our annual tradition to make a competition of who can hang the candy the highest and who can hide a candy so that it's toughest to be found. The rule is that one is forbidden to use ladder, so the only way to get higher ground is by climbing on the sofa.
I think lights not working properly each year is a universal problem. But being creative and willing to save money my dad usually manages to hide few not functioning on the back side of the tree (this is where really helpful is that we have only two spots for it, one in the corner and the other next to the wall of our living room). If majority of a strand isn't working when we plug it in to check, we throw it out. One of the sets is placed on our house's front balcony, so we need to have at least one functional.
We are usually done with all of the aforementioned decorating by the time it’s sunset. Because of how intensive and long our preparations are, as well as tradition (and mandatory until 2003 Church-commanded fasting that in respect for being a timeless habit of previous generations is still kept by us among many Poles) we aren’t able to eat more than three meals on Christmas Eve, with the largest being the supper which traditionally starts when the first star can be seen on the sky (a symbolic tribute to the Star of Bethlehem) and it should be the youngest person to spot it. But sometimes it’s cloudy and nothing can be seen, so we simply wait until it gets dark before beginning. On most occasions we are joined by my grandparents from dad’s side, who are driven here by him when we are near the end of cleaning.
The traditional Polish celebration begins with exchanging wishes and sharing the wafer between everybody present in the house. It works like this: each person takes one piece and wanders accross the room, giving and receiving the wishes in face-to-face conversation, repeated with all people untile the circle is complete. Our cat is getting the special wafer "for animals", which is pink and handed out with regular one in many parishes here, mine included. When our pet rats and dog were alive, they got the pink wafer for animals too. After we finish the wish exchange, one of us is reading the fragment of the Gospel read in Church on Christmas Day. Then it’s time for the feast to begin. The table we sit around is decorated with tablecloth that has some hay beneath it. It’s a tradition meant to remind that Jesus Christ was born in a manger. Another tradition is to leave one more plate than the number of people present in the house. The vacant seat is symbolically left for a stranger in need. I always wondered whether I’d ever witness a real wanderer looking for shelter, but as of writing these words no such event occured.
When it comes to classic Christmas meals, in my country it is eating mentioned in previous post borscht with uszka, as well as fish, most commonly carp, on Christmas Eve's supper. Thankfully, my mum is opposing the latter tradition, as she doesn't like its taste, so we usually have salmon instead. Eating carp wouldn't normally be a problem (even though my family members prefer other kinds of fish), but there's an issue here with condition in which folks are buying it. Because back in the times of communism not everybody had fridge or freezer, some people here (which is among my relatives deemed to be unacceptable) are still accustomed to that times' necessitity that was buying living carps a few days prior to kill them on the 24th of Decmeber themselves. In the meantime the poor fish were put into the bathtub (as was the case in my dad’s house when grandparents couldn’t afford a freezer or get it in empty shops). What's fortunate, nowadays it's not commonly accepted to still stick to that habit.
Other popular meals in my house are mushroom soup, pierogi (polish filled dumplings) and whatever is in my mum’s or my brother Antek’s minds, as they like cooking the most in our family, with the traditional condition being they shouldn’t contain meat. The tradition requires the number of dishes to be twelve (representing the Apostoles or months in the year), but we usually stretch the definition, for example counting uszka as the separate dish to get to a dozen without eating too much. The supper ending means time when it’s allowed to eat sweets and cakes again has arrived, which we are all more than fond of.
After everybody finishes eating, it’s time to unwrap the presents (in my family this part happens only if everybody agrees in advance to participate gift exchange) and for singing Christmas Carols. Each year my brother Ignac insists on him playing his keyboard and it’s always mediocre at best, as he’s not practising in any other time of the year. Also, every time when we’re about to sing one of the carols, someone’s reminding how dad once didn’t focus on the lyrics and sang about how Child Jesus was laying in the grave (“w grobie leży…”) instead of manger (“w żłobie leży…”).
The next few hours we spend on sharing anegdotes and stories from the past year, as well as playing computer games or watching concerts in TV before the final part of polish celebration arrives - the midnight mass called “Pasterka” (Shepherds’ Mass). The tradition of attending it is aiming at commemorating the arrival of the shepherds to Bethlehem and their paying of respect and bearing witness to the newborn Messiah. It’s deeply rooted in people’s habits here, as all parishes of the Catholic Church note a much higher attendance on that Mass than on regular Sunday. To accomodate the large crowds and those who aren’t feeling they would stay awake, some parishes hold another “midnight” mass on 22:00 hour (10 p. m.). In my family back in the day attending it on midnight was mandated by my dad, but since we couldn’t go in 2020 and 2021 due to COVID he decided only those willing to would be accompanying him. Yet most of us still go, in order to make easier planning the visits on the next day.
The following two days are reserved for visiting further relatives living not in our whereabouts. We don't have mass gatherings in my family, as my grandparents feel tired and overwhelmed by making the preparations for and huge noise during large crowds' coming, so usually my parents call their siblings to create a schedule of who pays a visit on each day (the free day in my country are Christmas Day and most people take vacation on Second Day of Christmas [Dec 26th], so usually when one family goes to joint set of grandparents, the second is visiting those on the other side). We repeat sharing the wishes and wafer, as well as singing the carols.
That’s all for now. Thank you for reading all of that, as well as every other my text this year. I want to wish all of you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! See you in my upcoming works in January.
Max
[tłumaczenie jak zwykle niebawem]
This American woman was fascinated to learn about the Christmas traditions in your Polish family and culture! Waiting to put the tree up until Christmas Eve would be very countercultural here--they start going up right after Thanksgiving and in early December. I loved learning about sharing the wafers and wishes (my heart!) the hay on the table, and having 12 foods before the sweets come out, too!
I loved reading about your family and Christmas traditions. Best wishes to your family in Poland from mine in Indiana, USA.